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In the middle of a session the other day I had a powerful realization. I was asked to think of a relationship I had with something in the last week that in my mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal.

A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To each of these men, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with these people or objects was rewarding and easy to maintain.

When my turn came to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has very simple needs, and it is the ultimate ego-boost for me when I get home at night and I am greeted in such an enthusiastic fashion. I don’t know of any others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from the house or no matter how my day has been. I call this unconditional love.

So what is unconditional love?

Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without conditions. It is the type of love that you have for your partner when the romantic, hollywood-style love is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect. You know your partner has faults. You know your partner is not perfect. You know your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay. You still love them. This is unconditional love.

The same thing applies to you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you are the same. You have faults. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections that people have.

So what do you get from this then? Should we all go out and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there is a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let our issues rule our lives.

But if you are serious about saving your marriage you need to put the clutter to one side and let your unconditional love come through. It is okay to have faults and make mistakes. And love will conquer them all.

Have a think about unconditional love and how you can apply this realization to your relationship.

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I totally agree with Don Bennett that what we know to be true may not be so. In the fifteenth century, people believed that the earth is the center of the universe. Even though most people during that time believed that the sun revolves around the earth, we in the twentieth century know that was not true.

Is there any consequence in believing in something? For example you believe that cholesterol can cause heart disease. To ensure that you will not get heart disease, you will make sure that your cholesterol level is always below 240. What if I said that cholesterol is not the cause of heart disease? Am I kidding? No I’m not; in 1990 Dr. Meir Stamfer, a professor at Harvard School of Public Health, confirmed an earlier finding by Dr McCully, assistant professor at Harvard Medical School, that the real culprit in heart disease is homocysteine (intermediate by-product of metabolism). The homocysteine level in your blood can be controlled if you take sufficient supply of folic acid, vitamin B12 and vitamin B6. The direct consequence of your belief is you developing a higher risk of developing heart disease.

Some of us believe in ape to man evolution. The consequence is we indirectly deny the existence of God, who had created man. However this ape to man evolution theory was invalidated by the people who were looking for evidence to proof it. The fossils that they found proved that the evolutions never happen.

More from Don Bennett’s article entitled, “Belief and Reality - Truth or Consequences”.

If I asked you, “Do you know your date-of-birth?” you’d probably give me the answer right off the top of your head, right? But do you really know the date you were born, or would the more correct answer be, “I believe I was born on…” I make this distinction for a very good reason. Even though you were there at your birth, you were too young to remember much about it, especially the date. At some point in your life, you relied on what others told you your birth date was, and your birth certificate (something in print from an authority) backed up those statements.

A friend of mine from many years ago thought she knew what her birth date was. I’m sure, like most of us, she would have been willing to bet money on it. Then one day a thoughtful friend gave her, as a birthday gift, one of those newspapers that were published on the date of her birth, from the area she was born in. She thought the gift was “so cool”. But in checking the accuracy of the paper, she noticed the weather at the time of her birth: “clear and sunny”. This didn’t jibe with her mom’s account of the day she was born. My friend had been regaled, on more than one occasion, with the story of how she was almost born in the car because it was raining so hard that some of the streets were impassible, making it difficult to get to the hospital. But yet there it was in black and white: “clear and sunny”. Her first thought was that the newspaper wasn’t what it was advertised to be. So she decided to prove it (and being a righter of wrongs, make a stink about it). But a check of the Farmer’s Almanac for that day and area revealed that it was indeed “clear and sunny”; and the National Weather Service agreed with the Almanac. Turns out, the date on her birth certificate was off by seven days, and rather than her parents correcting this when it was discovered, they simply celebrated her birthdays to coincide with the printed document.

The moral of the story? You don’t know your date-of-birth… you believe it is the date on your birth certificate. Knowing and believing are two entirely different things. But sometimes the two are used interchangeably. No big deal, right? It really doesn’t significantly impact anything if your real date-of-birth is a few days different than what you thought it was. But what if you thought (knew) that something you consumed on a regular basis was beneficial to your health, when it was actually harmful to your health. Many people I speak to are certain that milk and dairy products are good for your health. So it’s natural, since they “know” this to be the case, that when they’re given information to the contrary, they dismiss it out-of-hand… because they know milk is good for them. In reality, they believe milk is good for them. In reality, milk is not a normal, natural part of an adult human’s diet, and does way more harm than good.

So why am I making this distinction between knowing something and believing something? If I asked you, “Is milk good for you?” your ability to hear the reality about dairy products is greatly affected by your answer. If your thinking process is, “I know milk is good for me”, you might have a difficult time hearing the facts surrounding this topic. If, however, your position was, “I believe milk is good for me” (same as, “My understanding is that milk is good for me), then you’re more likely to be open to hearing information about the topic’s facts and fictions. And you’ll take at face value “facts” from “authorities” (whether in print or on TV) instead of accepting them as the gospel truth (remember, although from an authority, my friend’s birth certificate was incorrect; no doubt an honest mistake, but a lot of information regarding health is intentionally misleading).

Needless to say, being open-minded, especially about issues dealing with your health, is in your best interest. And one of the best ways to be open-minded is to realize that many of the things you know to be true, you actually believe to be true… and acknowledge that there’s a difference. Remember, “What can do you the most harm is what you know, that just ain’t so.”

Article Source: Health101.org