Have you ever gotten furious at someone, causing a big scene about how wronged you were, only to find out it was some trivial misunderstanding? Have you ever accused another of some transgression, only to discover later it was a miscommunication? Have you ever believed that someone had done something terrible to you, and then learned that this person was in extreme suffering in their own life (serious illness or severe loss) at the time? Have you ever spent hours, days, weeks, or months suffering over believing someone had deliberately hurt you, only later to learn that they were totally unaware due to their own life crisis?

If you’ve ever experienced any of these (and I think we all have), you’ve been blessed to be shown your process of “making up a story” about what is happening so you can be justified in feeling wounded and behaving hurt.

I was once walking down the street with a friend. He said, “Hi!” to a stranger on the sidewalk as we passed. The other person gave no acknowledgement. My friend ranted and raved and fumed long after the event. He thought the other person was rude. Here are some alternative possibilities to explain what happened.

• Perhaps the man was a city dweller and was more suspicious of friendliness than my friend (who lived in the country).
• It could be that the man had just lost a family member and was too deep in grief.
• Maybe he had just learned he had a life threatening disease.
• He might have a mental illness that made him terrified of strangers.
• Maybe he was late getting somewhere and did not even notice us on the sidewalk.

Start to be aware of any stories you tell yourself to explain the behaviors of others. Do you have a consistent pattern of explaining events so that you are the victim of other people’s behavior? Do you create a “story” about what happened without a word to the other person? Do you “go along” with things you don’t agree with, withdraw, make up a story and feel injured? Do you overreact by automatically assuming you have been deliberately slighted? Do you spend a lot of time focusing on other people’s behavior looking for transgressions real or imagined, while paying little attention to your own behavior and its impact on others?

Consider moving your attention back into your own body and sphere of influence. Start looking to your own behavior. Become aware of any “stories” you are making up about a situation. Look at the pattern of results of your stories. Do your stories justify your getting angry, feeling rejected, being hurt, retaliating, being mean to others (misdirecting your anger), or ending relationships?

Usually people use their “stories” to justify a behavior they want to do anyway, and intend to do anyway. Look at what you use your stories to justify. Do you justify stealing (”The clerk gave me too much change. They shouldn’t be so stupid.”), being mean (”They hurt me, so I’m going to hurt them more”), lying (”He said he is working tonight, so he must not care. I’m going out with another guy.”)

If you’re really paying attention to your stories, you will soon discover how you use stories to justify your behavior, pretend to be a victim, make yourself right and others wrong and generally complicate human interaction. Letting go of stories will guarantee you a lot more happiness.

About the author: Suzi Elton is a success coach working with highly creative types to create income that matches their talent.She has coached hundreds of clients to approach their goals strategically through tiny steps to bring about quantum leaps. Get free Life Purpose exercises, at http://mylifepurposecoaching.com.

I totally agree with Don Bennett that what we know to be true may not be so. In the fifteenth century, people believed that the earth is the center of the universe. Even though most people during that time believed that the sun revolves around the earth, we in the twentieth century know that was not true.

Is there any consequence in believing in something? For example you believe that cholesterol can cause heart disease. To ensure that you will not get heart disease, you will make sure that your cholesterol level is always below 240. What if I said that cholesterol is not the cause of heart disease? Am I kidding? No I’m not; in 1990 Dr. Meir Stamfer, a professor at Harvard School of Public Health, confirmed an earlier finding by Dr McCully, assistant professor at Harvard Medical School, that the real culprit in heart disease is homocysteine (intermediate by-product of metabolism). The homocysteine level in your blood can be controlled if you take sufficient supply of folic acid, vitamin B12 and vitamin B6. The direct consequence of your belief is you developing a higher risk of developing heart disease.

Some of us believe in ape to man evolution. The consequence is we indirectly deny the existence of God, who had created man. However this ape to man evolution theory was invalidated by the people who were looking for evidence to proof it. The fossils that they found proved that the evolutions never happen.

More from Don Bennett’s article entitled, “Belief and Reality - Truth or Consequences”.

If I asked you, “Do you know your date-of-birth?” you’d probably give me the answer right off the top of your head, right? But do you really know the date you were born, or would the more correct answer be, “I believe I was born on…” I make this distinction for a very good reason. Even though you were there at your birth, you were too young to remember much about it, especially the date. At some point in your life, you relied on what others told you your birth date was, and your birth certificate (something in print from an authority) backed up those statements.

A friend of mine from many years ago thought she knew what her birth date was. I’m sure, like most of us, she would have been willing to bet money on it. Then one day a thoughtful friend gave her, as a birthday gift, one of those newspapers that were published on the date of her birth, from the area she was born in. She thought the gift was “so cool”. But in checking the accuracy of the paper, she noticed the weather at the time of her birth: “clear and sunny”. This didn’t jibe with her mom’s account of the day she was born. My friend had been regaled, on more than one occasion, with the story of how she was almost born in the car because it was raining so hard that some of the streets were impassible, making it difficult to get to the hospital. But yet there it was in black and white: “clear and sunny”. Her first thought was that the newspaper wasn’t what it was advertised to be. So she decided to prove it (and being a righter of wrongs, make a stink about it). But a check of the Farmer’s Almanac for that day and area revealed that it was indeed “clear and sunny”; and the National Weather Service agreed with the Almanac. Turns out, the date on her birth certificate was off by seven days, and rather than her parents correcting this when it was discovered, they simply celebrated her birthdays to coincide with the printed document.

The moral of the story? You don’t know your date-of-birth… you believe it is the date on your birth certificate. Knowing and believing are two entirely different things. But sometimes the two are used interchangeably. No big deal, right? It really doesn’t significantly impact anything if your real date-of-birth is a few days different than what you thought it was. But what if you thought (knew) that something you consumed on a regular basis was beneficial to your health, when it was actually harmful to your health. Many people I speak to are certain that milk and dairy products are good for your health. So it’s natural, since they “know” this to be the case, that when they’re given information to the contrary, they dismiss it out-of-hand… because they know milk is good for them. In reality, they believe milk is good for them. In reality, milk is not a normal, natural part of an adult human’s diet, and does way more harm than good.

So why am I making this distinction between knowing something and believing something? If I asked you, “Is milk good for you?” your ability to hear the reality about dairy products is greatly affected by your answer. If your thinking process is, “I know milk is good for me”, you might have a difficult time hearing the facts surrounding this topic. If, however, your position was, “I believe milk is good for me” (same as, “My understanding is that milk is good for me), then you’re more likely to be open to hearing information about the topic’s facts and fictions. And you’ll take at face value “facts” from “authorities” (whether in print or on TV) instead of accepting them as the gospel truth (remember, although from an authority, my friend’s birth certificate was incorrect; no doubt an honest mistake, but a lot of information regarding health is intentionally misleading).

Needless to say, being open-minded, especially about issues dealing with your health, is in your best interest. And one of the best ways to be open-minded is to realize that many of the things you know to be true, you actually believe to be true… and acknowledge that there’s a difference. Remember, “What can do you the most harm is what you know, that just ain’t so.”

Article Source: Health101.org