Do You Still Have Romance In Your Life? If your answer to the question is yes, that’s great. I believe you are living a wonderful life. If the answer is no, please don’t be hard on your self. Nothing wrong about not being romantic, it is just the way it is.

In many part of the world, not being romantic are normal among elderly couples. Allow me to share a story about an elderly couple, who happen to be my friends.

Nancy, a 50 year-old secretary could not have asked for a better New Year gift. Nancy’s New Year resolution was to recreate romantic moments with her 60 year-old husband, Raymond.
On the New Year eve, after finishing shopping, Nancy asked Raymond to join her for coffee at Starbucks. Nancy ordered two tall Cappuccino and two blueberry cheese muffins.

“How much you pay the coffee and the muffins?” Raymond asked with a sniff.

“RM19 for the coffee and RM11.20 for the muffins.”

“What? You must be joking,” Raymond said with a tone that can break an argument.

“That goes my romance,” Nancy said to herself.

The next weekend, Nancy tried to have a romantic moment with her husband one more time. They were having their coffee at the same Starbucks outlet,

“What is romance to you?” Nancy tried to understand her husband.

“It was long gone,” Raymond answered in a low voice.

“For me, it is now. At this very moment, having coffee with you and talking about ourselves,” Nancy shared what she got after going beyond strategizing for love.

Nancy’s sharing opened up something for Raymond. He shared that he enjoys watching beautiful orchid and other rare species. He also loves beautiful sceneries. He said that it will be a romantic moment for him to do these things together with his better half.

Nancy was touched with her husband sharing. She realized that it was her who killed off her own romance the other weekend. She expected her husband to appreciate her for buying him coffee and muffin. She was making him wrong when he did not do what she expected him to do and the sky fell down. When she gave up her expectation and take responsibility to create what she wanted, she got the romance.

To Nancy (not the real name, I have change it for privacy purposes, the real person know it is her that I’m referring to), I acknowledge you for sharing your world with my wife and me. I also acknowledge both of you for your commitment to live life passionately and romantically. You have touched and inspired my wife and me to create romance in our life, any moment that we want. For me this is the happiest moment in my life, the moment that I realized that romance does not depends on extraordinary circumstances to happen such as Valentine’s Day or Anniversary. I’m now present to a notion that romance is a function of creation and a way of being. Thank you again for sharing with us.

This posting was submitted to “Post a Happy Moment Posting” Contest at:

Valentine’s Day is over. How about your love and romance? Are they still in the air?

To most people, romance only happened occasionally and under extraordinary circumstances, e.g. on Valentine’s Day, exotic trip, wedding anniversary, etc.

My wife said that I’m not romantic. It occurred to me that she was making me wrong and I don’t want to argue about it. If giving flowers and having candle light dinner on those special days what romance is all about, then romance to me is a waste of money and time.

Nevertheless, as a commitment to experience romance, last month I took my wife out for a dinner at a hotel (it is not the first time I took her out for dinner). In order to have a romantic atmosphere, we leave the kid at home. I enjoyed the dinner but I don’t feel the romance.

I asked my wife what romance mean to her. She said romance is about expressing and showing someone that you love her, you care for her and she means everything to you. It touched, inspired and makes her happy. It’s a totally different view and I didn’t know that until I asked her. Wow! I can be romantic everyday in my life, no sweat.

According to Webster Dictionary, romance is a fictitious tale of wonderful and extraordinary events characterized by much imagination and idealization.

Thus I don’t have to wait for Valentine’s Day or special occasion to show up to be and feel romantic. I can create romance every day in my life and I was not expected to give flowers or taking her out for a candle light dinner.

In the nutshell, romance is made up and is not a function of circumstance. Romance is a function of creation and a way of being.

Taking a stroll in the park together and talking about ourselves and how much we mean to each other (not about our kids, works and gossiping) can be a romantic moment. Paddling the paddle boat together in the lake garden can be a romantic moment for us as well. I’ll do just that and keep doing it, and keep generating the life we love.

Are you a romantic person? If you’re not, now you can be one.

Love seems to appear differently to different people at different time. Below are some of what you may already heard about love.

“Love is blind.”

“The pleasure of love lasts but a moment, the pain of love lasts a life time.” - French proverb.

“Love start with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.” – Dana Loeffel.

Do you still remember the time when you fell in love with your partner or spouse for the first time? How did love appear to you then? Is it something like this?

“A man in love sees a pimple as a dimple.” – Japanese proverb.

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” – Erich Segal

“Love so amazing, so divine, demands my soul, my life, my all.” – Isaac Watts.

“Love will keep us alive.” – The Scorpions.

The quotations above were true for me. Life was full of rainbows when my girlfriend and I were dating more than 20 years ago. But everything changed after a few years of getting married. Thus I tend to agree with the following quotation:

“Love is blind, marriage is the eye-opener.” – Pauline Thomason.

I asked myself why she was not as perfect as when we were dating. Why she changed? After doing a self-inquiry I realized that I have expectation that she need to fulfills. I expected her to behave in certain way. I expected her to communicate with me in certain way. When the expectation was not fulfilled, I felt love is war.

“On the day you crossed the line, I found out love is war.” – The Scorpions.

When we were dating, we live to the expectation of our partner in order to win her or his hand in marriage. When we get what we wanted, we will be our authentic self. Then life is hell for our spouse and vice versa. There is a saying about marriage:

“Marriage requires four types of “rings”: 1) The Engagement Ring; 2) The Wedding Ring; 3) The Suffe-Ring; 4) The Endu-Ring.”

Now I realized that I have a choice, to be happy or suffer by making my wife wrong for not living to my expectation. I chose to be happy and accepted my wife the way she is and the way she is not. Our life now is full of joy and laughter, just like when we were dating.

“We come to love not by finding a perfect person but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” – Sam Keen - To Love and Be Loved

“Love is nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it’s what you are expected to give – which is everything.”

“Love is accepting someone the way he/she is and the way he/she is not.”